there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
