I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
