you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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