Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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