is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
