yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
