I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
