she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
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