Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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