seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
