so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
