Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
