The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
