yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
