that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
