I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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