I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
