Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize