Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
