No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
