My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
