He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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