oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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