New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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