This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
