I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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