We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
