Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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