I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
