didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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