Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
