So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
