I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
COCAINE IS GR8
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
