he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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