I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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