Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I know her cup size but not her name....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
