but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
