I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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