What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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