I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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