Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
