my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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