the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
