god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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