I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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