I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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