thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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