saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
