Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
