Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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