Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize