There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
