I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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