I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
