It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Your cock deserves a montage
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
