Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
