***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize