bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
