I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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