If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
