No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
