It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
