the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
