girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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