So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I could fuck to npr.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
