OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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