I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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