I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
