I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
