you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
