I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize