Are we in a gay sports bar?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
