Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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