I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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