Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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